sorry for the depressing entry

27 January, 2006

blaaah, I hate school. blaaah.

Today wasn’t that great. Well it wasn’t BAD I just really wanted the day to be over.

Which is why I skipped Ceramics and went to get food with Marina.

We had a nice long talk. It was fine. She doesn’t really bug me that much anymore. I have just come to accept who she is now, and I know I don’t want to get too close because she can be hurtful. But we were perfect where we are, I think.

I got 37/40 on my pre-calc diagnostic test. Yay.

I can’t wait to get my haircut and surprise everyone … that is the only exciting thing I have to say.

Ugh I’m just feeling really blah.

I was reading Seventeen yesterday. And since it’s stupid fucking Valentine’s Day coming up, they did a love survey thing.

And one of the questions was how many boyfriends have you had.

And 9% have never had one. 33% have had two or three.

That is just depressing. So I’m in the small 9% of the most pathetic readers of Seventeen. Great.

AND, I actually AM Seventeen. Most of those readers were probably younger, so it’s not as bad that they’ve never had boyfriends …

God. I don’t get it sometimes.

I just want a boyfriend. But I don’t even like anyone. Not one bit.

I realized: the British guy I liked is weird, doesn’t seem like the most cheerful person, and he hates preppy people so there goes any chance of him liking me, haha.

And Brent … well, Brent has Ali and I don’t think he’ll ever like/love anyone as much as her. I never thought he would be that committed in a relationship, but they’re in love.

And Tony … seems like a jerk now. Or I’m just bitter. I don’t know. He’s still cute. I guess it’s good that since he rejected me I am like totally turned off from him. It’s better than being totally pathetic and bugging him all the time or something, right? He just doesn’t seem that desirable anymore. Now that I know he doesn’t like me.

Oh, and Tony keeps trying to be cool in Chemistry. Brent is like the “class clown” I guess, and Tony keeps trying to be friends with Brent, and tries to be as funny and stuff, and everyone is like … no. So that is laughable. Even though I don’t want Brent as a boyfriend really anymore, he is still hilarious. And hopefully he will be more social now that Ali is gone. (talk about that in a minute)

Life’s more interesting when you do like someone … ’cause then it’s all, Oooh, I’m going to get cute for this person. But if I don’t like anyone. there’s absolutely no motivation to be anything but scrubby all the time.

You know what sucks on top of that? All I feel like doing is watching Friends because … it will cheer me up kind of. I am going through and watching all the seasons again, in order. And so a few weeks ago I finished Season 5, so I got out Season 6. And I open the box. And guess what ISN’T THERE?! Season 6 Disc 1. And I checked ALL the other Friends boxes and ALL of our DVD boxes and I can’t find it! And I don’t know where it could be since there isn’t any reason that I wouldn’t put it back when I was done … and I probably haven’t watched it since LAST time I went through and watched all the seasons in order, which was who knows how long ago.

UGH. I just want to watch Friends. But I don’t want to go out of order. BLAH.

Ali moved today.

Brent wasn’t at school because he took her to the airport to say goodbye.

Everyone’s all, aww Ali I’ll miss her so much blah blah. Yeah, me too. I’ll really miss her going out with all the boys I like.

Okay, I’m just being bitter. Because not like she thought, “oh, Corinne likes the British guy, I’m going to go out with him. (And now Corinne finally got over the British guy, and likes Brent instead, so I’ll go out with him.)”

Well, she PROBABLY didn’t think that. But it just sucked and yeah.

But they’re staying together, so not like it makes a difference.

I’m also jealous of her because she gets to move away. I’m weird but I’ve always wanted to move away. And start at a new school. And just have everything be new and fresh and exciting. I wouldn’t even miss here that much. I’d miss Dahlia, ’cause I love her. And … I guess I would miss my group of friends as a whole. But I don’t think I’d miss any of them specifically that much.

Anyway. Brent took her to the airport, so he didn’t come to school. But then he came at the end of school because he does the ski bus so he had to come to school for that. And Marina & I saw him after school, and we said hi. And he looked REALLY depressed, and Marina was like, “Are you okay?” and he just shook his head no and kept walking and looking straight ahead. God, poor thing. I mean, as much as I wasn’t a fan of him and Ali, that’s gotta suck.

God, my dad just called me. And I had shown him my winter ball dress … when I thought I was going to go. And he knew Winter Ball was this past weekend, probably because his neighbor goes to my high school. And he asked me how the dance was, and I was like I didn’t go. And he was like, “You bought that beautiful dress, and you didn’t go?” Yes 😦 I know. Rub it in.



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