talk about blown out of proportion

12 March
To Do Today

[x] APUSH Chapter 33 Study Guide
[x] Add to Chapter 31-32 Study Guide
[ ] Call Michelle
[x] Write about this weekend
[ ] Read blogs
[ ] Look at college stuff

Things I should do today but probably won’t:
[ ] Finance Timeline (due Wed.)
[ ] Read magazines … I’m way behind.
[ ] Watch Friends

So yeah, I’ll write more after I finish study guides and call Michelle.

I know this is unnecessary but I need somewhere to put it!

Later.
I finished my study guides. 🙂 Well, for now.

But I haven’t called Michelle yet. So I’m going a bit out of order.

I don’t know what to say to her, really.

I want her to know I’m TOTALLY here for her, and will listen anytime she wants to talk. Because honestly, I’m worried about her.

This year I have noticed that she has been down quite a bit.

I don’t know if she’s like depressed or what, but she never talks as much as she used to, and she always seems pretty stressed, and she doesn’t hang out as much as she used to.

Marina and I joke that we lost her to her ipod after Christmas. Because it’s ALWAYS in. And you know when people constantly have their ipods in, it kind of seems like a sign like, “I don’t want to talk to you”? Well, that’s how I feel sometimes.

And the lyrics in her info are usually all depressing and stuff.

I don’t know. It might not be that bad but I do want to be here for her.

And especially after Friday night. She had fun, I think. Up until Marina and Devon hooked up.

And I don’t even really think Marina is at fault for hooking up with Devon, so if I were Michelle I wouldn’t be AS mad at Michelle as she is, but if it really bothers her that much … to each their own.

And that’s mainly what I want to talk to her about, like how she feels about Friday and everything.

She told Marina she still likes Devon. It has been THREE YEARS. All of high school.

And he is cute and funny but he is a mean person. Well not mean, but he isn’t the sweetest guy ever. He calls Michelle a tree behind her back and makes fun of her a lot. I don’t even get why she likes him.

She also compared what Marina did to:

1. How Elyse hooked up with Spence after Fer (one of Elyse’s best friends) went out with Spence for like seven months, and he was her first boyfriend and all that. And Elyse didn’t ask.

2. How Hallie went out with Jay after Mila (one of Hallie’s best friends) went out with Jay for over a year. And Hallie was keeping it from Mila until Marina told Mila.

It is NOT EVEN as bad as those two things. Sure, Marina should have asked/told Michelle first, and it probably hurts to be Michelle. But I do not feel like she can be THAT mad at Marina.

Not to be harsh, but Michelle has had her chance. It has been THREE YEARS. You can’t have a claim over a guy for that long and not do anything about it and still expect other people to not like him.

Also, Marina and Devon are better friends than Michelle and Devon ever were/will be, and have been for a really long time. Devon is one of Marina’s best friends, and vice versa. For some reason this just makes me think Michelle can’t have claim over Devon when it comes to Marina. I don’t know why. (2010 me here: in retrospect, Marina & Michelle are STILL not friends because of this whole thing. And, Michelle is still friends with Devon while Marina and Devon do not speak.)

And lastly, it wasn’t like a random hook up. Marina genuinely likes (liked) Devon and has wanted to hook up or something for awhile. Michelle didn’t know this, but still.

So for once, I don’t think Marina is at fault. Or at least not as much as Michelle does. But regardless of all this, if it is REALLY affecting Michelle as much as it seems to be, I want to be here for her. I don’t think she’d be faking this, I need to just be there for her. It obviously is bothering her a lot.

——————————-

School on Thursday and Friday … hmm.

I got 10/10 on my pre-calc quiz.

That was the only interesting thing!

—————————-

The party was fun fun fun. Except for the little Marina-Devon-Michelle triangle, but that didn’t affect me at all (and still doesn’t) so while it sucks for Michelle (apparently), and Marina feels bad … I STILL HAD FUN. And that’s what matters, right?

I was really happy about how it turned out. Nothing bad happened, and I just had a really good time.

Oh geez though. At some point, some how, Brent found out that I’ve never kissed a guy. I don’t really care that he knows, it’s just like … I don’t know.

And he wanted me to kiss Devon, but this was before the hook up, and before Brent knew about Marina and Devon at all … and I was just like, no.

But then Brent was like, “I can’t believe girls like you have never kissed anyone!”

Which I guess COULD be taken as a backhanded compliment. Because he said “girls like you” like he thought I would have kissed someone. So I guess that’s a good thing? I mean at least people don’t assume I’m a loser who has never been kissed. (although maybe they should! just kidding I don’t even care that much right now)

And then … god I don’t even remember what happened. Apparently I said some comment like “Brent hates me.” or something, even though I don’t know why I thought that or said that because I’ve never thought that. I’m on his top 8 friends on myspace (even though that’s a pretty shallow way to determine if someone likes you or not), so I don’t think he hates me. But apparently I did think that.

And then he was like trying to convince me that he didn’t hate me and stuff. And he said some nice things. 🙂 He said, “How could I not like you? You’re so likeable.” or something like that, and then he said I’m a cutie-pie or something like that, lol.

I don’t know why I’m writing this, because I absolutely do not like Brent anymore. Although he is pretty nice underneath, and is hilarious and flirty and everything, he can be kind of … harsh? Like I can’t think of an example but he just doesn’t seem as thoughtful and sensitive and all that stuff as I used to think he was.

I like him in a gay-best-friend way. Even though he isn’t gay. But that’s all I want to be with him. Maybe I think he’s gay because he is sometimes the only guy. And we all just have girl talk in front of him. Like he was the only guy to spend the night on Friday, and just slept on the floor right in between Vanni and Marina, lol.

Even though life is really blah and boring when you don’t like anyone! It’s been so long since I have liked absolutely NO ONE. Because usually, I have to like someone new in order to get over the last person. So I liked the British guy from the end of freshman year off-and-on (well he was like always kind of in the back of my mind even if I didn’t LIKE him really. maybe that’s how Michelle feels about Devon) until like the beginning of this year when I liked Brent. Then I kind of liked Brent until December, when I liked Tony. And that was short-lived … but I never went back to liking Brent or the British guy.

Anyway.

————————

Hahah, on Saturday morning me, Marina, Lucy, and Vanni went to Taco Time, where Brent works. We went through the drive through, so we didn’t know if he knew it was us when we ordered. Marina orders coke with no ice, so we knew it was him because when he repeated back the order to us, he was like, “And a coke, extra ice.” haha. Then he gave Marina a cup of just ice, with like a drop of coke in it.

Then Vanni for some reason thought we had our food, so she started driving away but we didn’t. And the person behind us pulled up so we had to go around and go inside. But all of us were wearing our pajamas, and some of us weren’t wearing shoes because we thought we were just going to the drive through. So Brent brought it out to us.

———————–

Last night I went to see Failure to Launch at the new theater with Kristen & Dahlia. It was cute, funny, and I liked it. 🙂 I don’t really like Sarah Jessica Parker that much but that was okay. I enjoyed myself.

Then I came home and passed out because I was running on three hours of sleep. I don’t know why but every time I drink I wake up at some insane hour like 6 or 7 and can’t go back to sleep. It is really annoying because usually I will have gone to bed at like 3. So …. meh.

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