beddy bye

24 March
Today was pretty good.

Let’s see …

Vanni is getting a bit too intense to take. Me and Marina, and me and Fer were both talking about her. Not like in a bad way, just how she can be kind of intense. We still love her and everything, but yeah. She’s just a lot first thing in the morning.

In pre-calc we had a quiz, and this ALWAYS happens to me and it’s so annoying! I always take the quiz and think I did fine and then when I’m talking about it with people later I realize I did a few problems wrong. And they’re only out of 10 or 15 or 20 usually (15 this time) so I can’t afford to miss many to still get an A! I think I could get 13 or 14 out of 15 this time, which is still good.

At lunch me and Fer always have these heart-to-heart talks. 🙂 I love it. She’s getting really easy to talk to. and I’m getting really comfortable around her.

Lately I’ve noticed about myself that every time people don’t open up to me or like to tell me things or anything, it bothers me. Like how Vanni never tells me anything, and Kristen. And I want to be here for Dahlia but I don’t know how.

I don’t know if I’ve just gotten used to being a person people come to talk to or what. And I just like having that role, and people trusting me. So I wish Kristen and Vanni and other people would do that, too.

About how I was saying I want to be here for Dahlia … well, I don’t know what’s wrong with her really but I was reading Kirsten’s texts (I know I’m a bad person =\ ) and she had some from Dahlia just talking about how Dahlia is stressed out lately and nothing is stopping it. And she doesn’t feel connected or something, and she doesn’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t know just all this stuff. I want to be here for her if she wants but I don’t really know how to let her know. I probably just won’t do anything. And the anniversary of her brother’s death is coming up on the 31st, so that’s always sad. 😦

In other news …

I also had a APUSH quiz today and it was … okay.

Then in TA I spent the whole time looking up places we’re going in Spain. I’M JUST SO EXCITED. I haven’t looked up our other hotels yet but I will … I just looked at like what temperatures are in Spain this time of year (I think like 70s) and some of the touristy places we’re going. ahhh two weeks from today!!!

Then after school I hung out with Marina, Lucy, Devon, Brent, and Vanni. It’s like the group now. Brent brought his motorcycle here and showed us … it’s cool I guess? But I’m not gonna pretend to know anything about motorcycles.

By the way I don’t like Brent. I decided. Just to let you know. I do really want a boyfriend but I feel like there’s no options. Usually I’m complaining (or feeling sad) about how the guy I like doesn’t like me or something. But right now there isn’t even anyone I WANT to like. So I don’t know …

Then me and Marina went downtown and everyone else did other stuff. No one hangs out anymore. But me and Marina talked and everything and it was good.

I got Rolling Stone with Simon, Randy & Paula on the cover, and a birthday present for my mom. How exciting?

And then I came home and hung out with Kristen & Dahlia a little bit but they’re going to bed soon and I am too …

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