blahhhh

25 March
I feel blah and I don’t know what to do about it to make myself feel better.

I don’t know who to talk to because I don’t really know what to say.

I just feel all stressed out and I don’t know why. It’s not even about school. It’s about school and my friends and my family and just everything.

I tried to talk to Katherine a little but she didn’t really get what I was trying to say so her advice didn’t really make sense, and I didn’t feel like explaining it again.

I’m not used to this. Every time I’m stressed out it has to do with school and it’s something really … tangible. Like if I just do the work and get it over with, then I’m not stressed out anymore. But this, there is like no reason really for me to be this stressed out so I don’t know what to do to make it go away.


I just feel like … with my friends … I’m really drifing apart from Eta and Michelle and Elyse. That’s not even the main thing though, I don’t know. I haven’t really talked talked to them in awhile, and haven’t hung out with them outside of school in … let’s see … Michelle: two weeks. Eta: well I saw her at the Showing on February 11th but we didn’t really hang out, so before that January 29th. Elyse: three weeks. (I know these dates ’cause I’m OCD like that and I write down everything I do on my calendar … ) THAT IS JUST TOO LONG. Especially for Eta. Almost two months?!?!? I feel like I can hardly consider her one of my good friends any more. 😦

I could hang out with Eta tonight, ’cause we were texting earlier about how we want to but she’s another friend’s. And Michelle is maybe having people over, and Marina is supposed to call me about that but she hasn’t. Plus I think I’m watching a movie with Katherine ’cause it’s her last night.

And I’m just getting really sick of Vanni. And not of them, but of hanging out with Marina Lucy Devon and Brent all the time. I love them, but yeah.

Vanni’s just … confusing and seems so premeditated sometimes and I don’t know. I’m just sick of her. I need to like, not hang out with her at all until Spain so that I can take her.

I feel like just sleeping right now but then the sooner I go to sleep the sooner I have to get up and the sooner it’s Sunday and Katherine is gone and I have to do homework and go back to school. 😦

And Kristen … god. Today for my mom’s birthday celebration, well Kristen was at her friend’s wedding earlier so she came home and was DRUNK and so annoying. I kept laughing at her and rolling my eyes and making fun of her, because EVERYone was, how could you not?? And she was all, “Corinne! Don’t make fun of me or I’ll tell ALL YOUR SECRETS!” GOD. She’s just so annoying when she’s drunk and I’m not (LOL). I just couldn’t stand her.

AND, Every time it’s my mom’s birthday or Christmas, she always buys my mom a ton of stuff or really nice stuff and makes me and Katherine look bad. 😦

I’m just really … BLAH right now. I don’t know why. It feels like everything is just piling up and it probably isn’t even that bad but it’s the mood I’m in. PMS maybe.

And then Kristen like YELLED so the whole house could hear, “Corinne I’ll be here next weekend so we should have a party!” And ugh now my mom is gonna be all suspicious.

That’s another thing, I can’t really talk to my mom anymore. I can’t tell her about half the things going on my in my life if they have to do with drinking. So that sucks. I want to talk to her right now … but I don’t know. I feel weird.

And like I was saying last entry I really want a boyfriend. I feel pathetic that I’ve never had one. I feel like Marina and Fer and Vanni are all gonna be talking about boy stuff and not want to include me or something. And at least Elyse and Michelle and Eta are in the same boat as me, but at least Elyse and Michelle are/have been CLOSE to having boyfriends, like they’ve had “things” with guys or whatever. Eh I don’t know.

Did I mention Vanni and Matt had sex? Well they did. Oh she hasn’t told me though. GREAT! I’m so glad she feels like she can talk to me. It’s about time though because they’ve gone out for over a frickin’ year. She didn’t tell me OR Marina, she told Brent of all people who told Marina who told me. It’s just insulting that Vanni doesn’t feel like she can tell me stuff.

Oh and now apparently Kristen wants us to come get her drunk ass from the bar because she is tired. Because I REALLY want to be around her more right now.

Sorry for all the complaining. I just needed to.

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