back to reality

23 April
I’ve been busy busy busy.

I miss Spain. A lot. I miss being there. I miss the sun. I miss being close with the 7 or 8 other junior girls on the trip. I miss Nancy. I just want to go back!

And it made it suck to come back even more to have alll this shit to catch up on. I’ve been so stressed this week. Still am …

AP tests are coming up and I’m dreading them like no other.

In APUSH we took a practice multiple choice one and I got 36 right, 23 wrong, and skipped 21. The example she gave got 40 right and she said most of the class will be around there. So at least I’m not that far from average. I think I’ll be better on the actual test because 1) I will have studied and 2) I won’t have been in Spain for 10 days, blocking US History out of my mind.

Let’s seee. I saw Friends with Money. Love Jennifer. The movie was a bit strange, but I liked it. Even though it was depressing and kind of confirmed my views about love/marriage/life. So I don’t know.

And I read Just Listen. It was waiting for me when I came back from Spain, a surprise, because I had pre-ordered it on Amazon a long time ago and then forgotten about it.

I read it pretty fast, for me (slow reader, and busy doesn’t make for reading books very fast, or often anymore). Do you know when the last book I read for pleasure was? Because I don’t. I think … oh … the Virgin Suicides in AUGUST. Geez. And I used to read so much. 😦 I hate you school for taking over my life.

Just Listen was good. My favorite Sarah Dessen books, though, are still Dreamland, Keeping the Moon, and the Truth About Forever. I don’t know why, those are just my favorites.

It was kind of like This Lullaby for me: good and everything, and I was into it, but I couldn’t always relate to it as much as the other books. It was cute though. Sometimes I wanted to SHAKE her, though. For not trying harder to stay friends with Clarke in 7th grade. For not telling someone about Will. For leaving Bendo that night? What?! I didn’t even get why she would leave. She could’ve just TOLD Owen and he would’ve been understanding. I didn’t understand why she didn’t want to.

Other than that, honestly, it was great. I just didn’t understand why she did those things, and it bothered me.

I squealed when Wes and Macy, and then Dexter and Remy made an appearance! I loved the Wes & Macy one more, though, because 1) I liked them better and 2) it was more subtle, so I felt more special when I caught it. Never did get the Boo one, though …

Anyway, moving on. I’m sick. 😦 So I didn’t do anything yesterday or today except homework, read Just Listen, watch Friends, etc. Oh, today I did some homework outside for two hours and got some sun! Of course, it’s burn, but whatever. I don’t care, it’s something.

Ah, 4/20 came and went on … Thursday was it? yay for that. *sarcasm* I didn’t celebrate. This year it was SO different from last year. It was such a big deal last year! Everyone was high all day, and everyone wanted to smoke so they could say they did or whatever. And I did “celebrate” last year. But not this year. I honestly just don’t care, plus I don’t like smoking anymore so … if it were a drinking holiday, it’d be another thing!

Speaking of drinking though, I don’t even care about that as much as I used to. For now. Maybe my partying phase has moved on. It’s just that for the past year, if an opportunity to drink would come up, I would take it. And I did. But now, I won’t just drink ANYtime. Just when I feel like it, or when I think it’s going to be fun. I don’t know. I still like to drink, love it, I’m just a little over always wanting to do it all the time.

What else. Oh, Kristen is looking at apartments to move out. 😦 She annoys me and everything but I don’t want her to move out. I don’t want to be the only kid still left! That’s going to be so depressing, so quiet around the house.

And her and Dahlia are fighting, I think. She acts like they’re fine, but I know they had a little fight on Friday. And then, Kristen was here all day yesterday and all day today and Dahlia hasn’t been over at all. Which is RARE. She practically lives here, or so I thought.

Which makes me sad, because Kristen is my connection to Dahlia, and if they aren’t as good of friends any more, when will I ever see Dahlia? Or if Kristen moves out? Dahlia better come visit me or something! 😦

Their fight was something about how Dahlia doesn’t like Kristen going out all the time (Dahlia isn’t 21 so she can’t go) and wishes Kristen would be there for her more in a time like this, or something. Which … all of it might be a little dramatic, but I love Dahlia. I don’t think she’s doing anything intentional to be dramatic, it’s just how she feels.

And her mom DOES have cancer, after all. I’m not really sure what’s going on with that.

Anyway, I better get back to homework. *sigh*

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